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Tastes Like Cotton Candy By Geoffrey C. Porter Part I I pulled up to a stop in front of George's house and paused thinking to myself, maybe I'll win today; I've lost four weeks in a row, and I have to at least get lucky once in a while. It's a good thing neither George nor I am betting men. I knocked on his door, and it promptly opened to reveal George. He smiled and said, "What's new, Jeff?" "Same old, same old. The girl at the office still isn't sleeping with me." "Dude, you shouldn't even be considering looking for a girl at the office. Go to a bar or something." "Yeah, I know. You got any of that pot left?" "I might, but I'm not giving you any. You need to learn to conserve." "Eh, if I have it, I smoke it. What are we going to play today?" "I got a new game!" "Sweet!" We played for a while, and it started to snow outside. Odd considering it was the first week of October. George looked at me and said, "First snow of the season! I have to go catch snowflakes!" "What are you, eight?" "Ha!" He ran outside and started catching snowflakes with his tongue. I watched it snow. I rubbed my eyes, for it seemed like the snow had a strange pink tint to it. It didn't melt when it hit the ground or cars. It just stuck. Soon everything outside was covered in pink. George came back inside grinning from ear to ear. He had pink stuff on his clothes and in his hair. He said, "It tastes like cotton candy! It really does. Try some." He started shaking the stuff off onto the floor. I shook my head no. I said, "I don't do pink snow. I had pink cocaine once in Jamaica, but I'm not going anywhere near any pink stuff coming out of the sky." George said, "Let's get back to the game!" I sighed. I was doomed in the game. Still, I threw the dice, took my turns, and moved my pieces as if there was some chance I could claim a victory. Finally, George took my capital, and I said, "Good game." He nodded, but he didn't do his usual victory dance. He held one hand on his stomach and said, "I don't feel so good." I nodded. It was still snowing pink snow outside. I said, "I'm going to wait a while before going home. You don't mind do you?" "No, you can play the Wii if you want." I smiled, "Pack a bowl, dude." "I'm sick man, and I just smoked a couple days ago." I said, "Alrighty… Go lay down or something. Holler if you need anything." He groaned and went in his bedroom. I played with the Wii for a while. I looked in on George, for he was groaning. He had some kind of green moss growing on his right cheek. I stared. Green moss? I said, "George? Are you alright?" His eyes fluttered open, and he started scratching at the green moss. He said, "I'm way sick. Call an ambulance, dude." I went and grabbed the phone and dialed. It rang a few times then I heard a recorded message, "All the emergency lines are busy. Please try your call later." I said, "Shit, dude. 911 is toast!" George said, "It hurts, Jeff. I can't move hardly at all, and the more I move the more it hurts!" I had some very dark thoughts all in a row. Pink snow. Terrorist attack. Chemical weapon. I flipped off the Wii and flipped the switch for the cable. A green screen showed on every channel with simple scrolling text running past. "All Montgomery county residents are urged to stay in their homes. An abnormal weather condition has made road conditions hazardous. All Montgomery county residents are urged to say in their homes. An abnormal weather condition has made road conditions hazardous." I turned the TV off. I went and looked at George. He said, "They have medicine at the hospital. It's just down the road." "Dude, the TV says to stay indoors." "I'm dying, man!" I sighed. I looked out the window. My car was covered with the pink stuff. I said, "Dude!" George said, "Wrap your head in a towel and take my truck! It's in the garage!" I felt stupid wrapping my head in a towel. I put rubber gloves on as well from the kitchen. I went and started up the truck and hit the garage door opener. I drove through the pink stuff heading towards the hospital. There were no other cars on the streets. Everything was quiet. I approached the hospital and cars were parked everywhere. I parked two blocks from the entrance. I covered my face with the towel and started walking. Piled next to the emergency room door stood a mound of wet clothes stained pink. I stepped in the emergency room doors and a blast of water hit me in the chest pushing me back. I heard a voice on a loudspeaker shout, "Strip naked!" I looked and saw men wearing environment suits. I started to strip. People in the waiting room were watching me, and they sprayed me down all over with the hose. After I was thoroughly soaked someone in an environment suit handed me a hospital gown and said, "Come on in." I said, "I need help! My friend is sick!" Then I noticed the people in the waiting room. All of them had the green moss growing on their body that George had. I began to wonder when the green moss would start growing on my skin. Part II After looking over the waiting room full of groaning and moaning people with green moss growing here and there on their bodies, I went up to one of the men in environment suits and said, "My friend is sick. He needs medicine." The guy nodded and said, "Have a seat and wait your turn." I sighed. I was tempted to press the issue, but he had a submachine gun, and I got the impression the safety was off. I found an unoccupied corner and sat on the floor. I waited. I went to the drinking fountain and got a drink of water. I tried to sleep. I walked up to the doors and noticed they were locked closed. The moans and groans of the sick started to grate on my nerves. The children were the worst crying nonstop until their tears ran dry. I made a decision. I needed to help George, and I wasn't getting anywhere. I walked up to the nurse's station. I said, "My friend is sick. Is there a treatment?" The nurse sighed. She had a little bit of green moss on her cheek, but she seemed to be fairing better than the others in the waiting room. She said, "Antibiotics seem to slow the spread of the infection." "Give me some antibiotics to take to my friend." She smiled at me and said, "Have a seat and wait your turn." I could have bitten her head off. She pushed a button under her desk: I saw her hand move. Two men in environment suits carrying submachine guns started to approach me. One of the men said, "We don't want any trouble. Take a seat." I sighed. I turned my back on the nurse and started walking back to my corner. The nurse shouted, "Wait!" I paused. I turned to face her. She said, "Take off that gown." I said, "What?" "Take off that gown, right now." One of the men gestured with his gun, and I said to myself, sure, she wants to see my penis, I'll show it to her. I pulled the gown up over my head and grabbed my manhood and squeezed, so she could see it in all its glory. She said, "Turn around." I paused. She said, "Turn around, let me see your backside." I turned around. She said, "Get dressed." She hit a button on her control panel and spoke into a microphone, "I've got one who isn't showing any signs, Doctor." I paused. She was right. I didn't have green moss anywhere on my body. I wasn't in any pain. I heard the clink of heels pounding floor, and I turned and looked. A woman with a stethoscope around her neck walked briskly towards me. She had a slight bit of green moss growing on her neck and the most perfectly shaped breasts. I was a bit glad to have the gown covering my nakedness at that point. She looked at me and smiled. She said, "What is your name?" I said, "Jeff." "Come this way." She started walking, and I followed. I was a sucker for beauty. She led me to a room and said, "Strip." I took off my gown, and little Jeffie started to rise to attention. I tried to focus on baseball. She looked me up and down. She told me to bend over. She spread my ass cheeks, and I think looked back there. She said, "Get dressed." I happily complied. She said, "Tell me about your medical history, Jeff." "I'd rather not." "It's very important." I sighed, "My medical records span over a thousand pages and two decades, madam. Where would you like me to start?" "What meds are you on?" "I take about five different prescriptions." "What are you on?" "Glucophage and Glucotrol for my diabetes. Synthroid for my thyroid. Altace for my high blood pressure." She said, "You said five." "I take lithium for my mania." Her eyes went wide. She said, "We need to take a blood sample. Do you know what your white blood cell count usually is?" "I know it's always high because of the lithium, but I don't know the number." "Your white blood cells must be fighting the pathogen." As quickly as it acted, I wondered if it was a pathogen or a chemical agent, and I said, "Are you certain it is a pathogen? I think as quickly as it acts it is a chemical agent." She smiled at me, "Most people don't know the difference between a pathogen and a chemical agent. We're not certain yet what it is. If it's a virus it acts quicker than any virus in history. We don't have a molecular microscope in this hospital, and we haven't had any luck reaching the hospital in Kettering that does." I said, "Are people dying yet?" "We haven't reported any deaths yet." "You need to give me some antibiotics to take to my friend!" She sighed, "We don't have any antibiotics left, Jeff." I sighed. She said, "Look. You can help us. The people here need you." "What are you talking about?" "We've got a special environment suit. You need to wear it, and go to the pharmacy and raid their stockpiles of antibiotics." "You mean go back out in that shit?" "We'll put you in an environment suit. You'll be perfectly safe." I didn't want to go back out in that shit then I thought of something. I said, "I'll do it if you sleep with me." She slapped me hard. I smiled at her. She said, "I'm not sleeping with you. You'll do it for the good of your fellow man." I said, "Sure. Maybe we could have dinner though." She looked me in the eye. She said, "You bring back antibiotics, and I'll think about it. Come with me." She led me to a room with an environment suit that looked bulkier than the others I'd seen them wearing. I unzipped the front and climbed inside. It weighed a ton. I said, "This thing weighs a ton!" She flipped a switch on the suit's chest. I tried to move and didn't feel the weight of the suit. She said, "It's powered. It shouldn't slow you down as much as the other suits we have. You only have about a half hour of air in the tanks though then you'll have to rely on the charcoal filtration system. We've found the charcoal filters start to clog with the pink stuff after about thirty minutes." I said, "You're just full of good news!" She kissed me. I was like, wtf? Then she put the helmet on me. I started to walk towards the door. Then I felt a slight electrical charge run through my body and the suit acted on its own moving me along faster. I shouted, "What the fuck!" I heard across the comm. link in the helmet, "Relax, we had to test the automatic servos. Should you lose consciousness or die, we can drive the suit back to the hospital by remote." I said, "What the fuck!" The doctor looked at me and smiled, "Just go, Jeff. And I'll think about that dinner." Part III Once I had the suit on, somebody handed me a duffle bag. A nurse handed me a piece of paper and said, "This is a list of every antibiotic they might carry at a pharmacy. There are three pharmacies at the intersection of Wayne and Wyoming. Those are the closest ones." I nodded. I said, "I frequent Shelton's. I know where I'm going." A guy wearing an environment suit handed me a crowbar. I said, "Thanks." I started walking out of the hospital. Across the speaker in my helmet I heard, "Run, you idiot!" I started to jog: it was easy in the powered suit. As I approached the door, a security guy in an environment suit waved me down. I stopped. He held out a gun of some sort butt first towards me and said, "Take it." "I'm not going to need a gun." The guy smiled at me. He said, "Take it." "Piss off. It'll slow me down." I started jogging for the exit. I jogged and jogged. It was easy in the suit though. I made good time. The two chain pharmacies looked like they had been looted. I looked to Shelton's, and the door was secure. I busted the window with the crowbar and climbed inside. I went back behind the counter to where I'd never been and started sorting through pill bottles comparing the label to the list I had. I ran across one marked, Diazepam, and I smiled. I put it in my pocket. I heard, "We don't need valium. We have plenty of that." I said, "Some of us need valium." I heard a deep sigh, and I went on to the next row of shelves. Once I had been through every shelf, I threw the duffle bag across my back. A sharp electrical joint ran through my body and the suit started trying to run. I resisted! I fell over onto the floor, and my legs ran. I grabbed for the suit's off switch and threw it. I lay still for a moment. I undid my helmet and unzipped the suit in the front. I climbed out. I grabbed the duffle bag and the crowbar. I realized I was barefooted. Then I remember I was at Shelton's. I went to a rack by the check out and grabbed a pair of support socks and put them on. I grabbed the bottle of valium out of the suit's pocket. I started jogging back towards the hospital. I saw George's house, and I paused. Then I went inside. I heard him moaning. I went and got a glass of water for him and fished two bottles of different antibiotics out of my bag. I went in his room and said, "George! Wake up! I got pills for you." He sat up. He groaned terribly. He said, "What took so long?" I said, "I had to promise a girl I'd have dinner with her before they'd give me the pills." "You did not meet a girl." "I did, too. Now, take some pills." He held his hand out, and I put the bottles in his hand. He said, "How much am I supposed to take?" "Hell if I know." "Didn't you get these from a doctor?" "No. I raided Shelton's pharmacy. I have to go back to the hospital. Start with two of each kind, man. Then cut down to one of each kind every so many hours." "How many hours?" "I don't fucking know, man, I gotta go." George looked at me and said, "Thank you." "I'll try and come back, and you can reward me by packing a bowl." "You're a fucking junkie." "I got valium, too." "Go." I stashed the valium in one of his kitchen cabinets and took off in a jog. When I made it to the emergency room, I noticed a row of body bags outside the entrance. When I stepped inside, water blasted me in the chest, and I heard, "Strip!" I took off my gown, and they sprayed me down. They sprayed me right in the nuts, and I fell to the ground grabbing at them. I growled, "Bastards!" Once I was thoroughly washed, I grabbed the bag and stepped inside. The cute doctor ran up to me and hugged me. She handed the bag to somebody and said, "Get these to the pharmacy and catalog everything. Get with Doctor Melbourne and start distribution." I said, "Can I get something to wear?" She looked at me and said, "I never gave you my name. It's Alicia." "Can I get something to wear?" "We're out of gowns. And you can't wear your old gown it's contaminated. This is a hospital nobody cares if you're naked." Then she looked down at my manhood and stared. I said, "Give me your coat!" She stripped off her white lab coat and said, "It's not going to fit." I tried it on. It didn't cover junior, and junior was starting to notice all the attention. I took the coat off and put it on backwards like a hospital gown. Alicia took my hand and said, "I owe you dinner!" I went with her to the cafeteria. She looked at the guy serving food and said, "Two cheeseburgers, two orders of waffle fries, and two medium drinks." I looked at her and said, "Maybe I didn't want a cheeseburger." She smiled, "I've had everything on the menu in this cafeteria. You want the cheeseburger." "What if I'm vegetarian?" She looked at me. "I'm not, but you didn't know." She said, "I'm in charge here. This is my hospital. I ordered for you. So what?" "Nothing. It was just strange." We sat and ate. Frankly, the cheeseburger and waffle fries were very good for hospital food. As I finished up, she said, "You've got to go back out." I sighed. She looked at me. I noticed the green moss on her neck was almost gone, but still evident. She said, "Look, there's a couch in my office. If it'll motivate you, we can complete the rest of our deal." My eyes opened wide in shock. Then it dawned on me, that green moss is gross, and it might be all over her body. Then I thought about it again, and I said, "When all this blows over. We can do it every day for a week. That new deal will inspire me." She smiled, nodded and said, "If you bring back more antibiotics and if you can do it everyday, we'll do it everyday for a month and see where things lead from there." I smiled a wicked smile thinking to myself, I found a horny one. Part IV I got Alicia's home number, cell phone number, pager service number, office number, address, and email address. I took a certain pride in thoroughness. She kissed me long and wet, and I jogged out the hospital. I looted all the antibiotics from the two chain pharmacies, and started jogging back. I stepped into George's house, and he said, "Don't you knock anymore, man?" I laughed. I said, "I thought maybe you were too sick to get up to answer the door." "I am!" "But obviously feeling better." "Much. Will you make some food for me? There are frozen burritos in the kitchen. All you have to do is microwave them." I microwaved two burritos for him, and he sat up in bed to eat them. I said, "I gotta go." He nodded. He said, "Thanks." I said, "We're smoking your pot when I get back." He nodded. I took off in a jog for the hospital. Outside the entrance body bags were stacked like cordwood. They sprayed me down again. I covered my balls. They made me take my hands off, and they hit me full force in the nuts again. I shouted, "You enjoy doing that!" I noticed the people in the lobby. Some weren't moving. I handed the bag of antibiotics to a nurse, and she ran off with it. I stood their naked. I asked somebody for some clothes, and they laughed at me. I started going room to room looking for a linen closet. I ducked inside and found some sheets. I wrapped one around my waist. I started looking for Alicia. I noticed the staff all seemed rather healthy all things considered. Finally I found her office. I let myself in. She was asleep on her couch. I nudged her. She smiled at me. She said, "You're still here? You have to go back out." I said, "I need sleep. I've been up for almost 24 hours." "I'll give you a shot of amphetamines." "No." "They'll keep you up. You can go for more than 24 hours without sleep." "I know full well that I can go for more than 24 hours without sleep. I can go five days without sleep. But I end up in the hospital in the end." "I'll give you a shot of Geodon with the amphetamines. That will keep you from going manic." "No." She looked at me. I said, "I have to sleep." She said, "Take the couch. You can have two hours." I fell asleep. After the shortest while I felt a nudge. I opened my eyes. Alicia looked at me and said, "Get up." I got up. I started heading towards the hospital exit. I couldn't help but notice the hospital staff all seemed fit and healthy. Some didn't even have any visible green moss. Patients on the other hand were moaning and groaning. They were covered in the green moss. I stepped into the sun, and the realization hit me. They weren't giving the antibiotics to the patients. They were keeping them for the staff. |
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